Hubs vs Squirrel – A Handyman Story

“You only need two tools in life; WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn’t, use Duct Tape.” Unknown

“And a hammer. You can fix anything with a hammer.” Hubs

Sunday mornings are usually a peaceful time in my house. No alarm clocks, unless you count Lucy! She sleeps in a crate in our room and Hubs and I take turns taking care of her when she inevitably starts barking not long after the sun comes up. This particular Sunday it was my turn, so I got up, took her to do her business, fed her, and got ready to settle in with my breakfast and some iPad reading. No TV or music-just quiet time with my coffee. I’m glad it was quiet, otherwise I might not have heard the noise. At first I thought it was Lucy but she was not in the room. Scratching. It was coming from over my head and, since we live in a ranch-style house, it could only be coming from the attic. Ruh-roh! There’s some kind of wildlife in my attic!

I went and got Hubs out of bed so he could come listen to make sure I wasn’t imagining things. Nope-there was definitely something up there. Hubs went back to the bedroom and I sat down to finish my coffee and plot our next move. I thought for sure Hubs was getting ready to help me figure out what we were going to do next but when more than a few minutes passed with no shower noise I went to investigate. He’d gone back to bed!! When he looked at me and realized going to sleep was clearly NOT happening, he got up & took his shower. He also asked me to do a search and see where we could find a humane animal trap. “Oh, GOOD!!” I thought. He’s gonna try to catch it himself instead of calling someone out on a Sunday for a ridiculous amount of money. I found where we could find a trap so we hopped in the Jeep and went to our local DIY hardware store.

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Found the trap-easy peasy!

The search I did had the exact location of the trap in the store and it took us no time to find it. We also looked at some pole saws since some branches that were overhanging the roof were the clear point of access for our unknown critter. Hubs thought he could get a better deal on a saw at another store so we went home, baited & set the trap, and went our separate ways-me to my weekly weigh-in meeting and Hubs & Sonny to the other hardware store for a pole saw.

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Handyman extraordinaire and his trusty assistant!

By the time I arrived home the guys were in the backyard hard at work clearing the branches away from the house. It was at this point Hubs realized he may have tried a bit too hard to save some money at the expense of getting the job done, as the saw he bought was too short for the job. He hadn’t gone out to look at how high the branches were in relation to where they originated on the tree, and the 10′ saw he bought was WAY too short, even with a 10′ ladder. So, back to the hardware store we went to get the correct sized saw. The shorter saw is going in the fall yard sale…

I have to digress a bit here. We shopped at Lowe’s for the trap and that’s where we returned for the longer pole saw. I didn’t notice this on the first trip, but when we returned I saw this sign in their parking lot. Service members hold a special place in my heart, especially since I’m married to a retired service member, and this sign melted me. Well done, Lowe’s!

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Thank you, Lowe’s!

So we got the correct size saw and Hubs was back on the ladder in no time clearing the rest of the branches away from the house. The 14′ saw worked like a charm and, while there are still a good number of branches that probably need to be cleared, the Squirrel Express access to the Penthouse suite has been permanently closed.

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Sorry, Mr. Squirrel-the Penthouse suite is closed! 

The craziest part of this whole story is that we never trapped anything! Hubs put the trap in the attic and has been checking it a couple of times a day. It’s been empty every time he’s checked it. I swear I was NOT imagining the sounds I heard, as Hubs heard them, too. I’m glad we didn’t need to spend the money for a pest control guy to come out on a Sunday, as that would’ve been ridiculously expensive and completely unnecessary. Hubs had a handle on this and I’m grateful he’s not afraid to tackle a job he’s certain he can do. Sonny did his part, as well. All’s well that ends well, and if we ever do catch that squirrel, or whatever it was, I’ll be sure to let you know!

I’d love to hear about some of your crazy adventures with wildlife in your house. Ever had a bat or a bird fly in? Or worse? Leave a comment and let me know!

Be well and God Bless-until we meet again…

Author: olderwisermoneymiser

I’m a 50-something wife, mom, and full time accounting administrator sharing my observations about life and money.

35 thoughts on “Hubs vs Squirrel – A Handyman Story”

  1. Great story! Love the photos too! We once had a skink, like a lizard in our house in TN but thankfully we haven’t had any so far in our Florida home … neighbors and friends have had snakes and one had mice on her lanai:/. We’ve had alligators and bears and even some sort of wild cat in our hood but thankfully not in anyone’s home:)

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    1. This is a first for us and I’m not crazy about the idea of wildlife possibly taking up residence in my attic! We’re still not sure if anything is up there now but he’s had to re-bait the trap twice so something is definitely coming & going.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I hope that solves your problem, but don’t be surprised if it doesn’t. We’ve had squirrels in the attic before and that scratching noise will drive you to drink. Our house has no immediate tree access and while we trying to figure out how they got in…we saw one climb up the gutter drain spout and enter through a small hole where a light fixture on an eave was attached. Clearing the surrounding branches helps, but you’ve got to find the entry point for a permanent solution. I love squirrels… but not in the house. They’re very destructive!

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      1. While I don’t live in the country, I do live on a heavily wooded lot so there’s a good bit of wildlife around. I can’t keep hostas in my yard since the deer treat it as their own personal salad bar. Coyotes and bears have also been spotted in our area although I haven’t seen either for myself just yet.

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      2. We have nightly skunk, raccoons, fox and deer. I’m loaded with hostas, but the deer never touch them. Currently the woodchuck are eating my phlox and daisies, the chipmunks are planting sunflower seeds in every pot and the raccoons have discovered the hummingbird feeder. I hear coyote at night but have only seen 1 since we moved here…

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  3. Yes! We had a Christmas wreath on our front door, and upon returning home from Florida late one night after 12 hours in the car, I opened the door to grab the week of mail delivered on our front porch, and in flew not one, but TWO birds into our house! I had my ‘guys” get them out but it involved a broom, a box (not really that helpful) and finally they got shooed outside – they were so freaked out they just wouldn’t fly back outside! My husband lightly ‘batted’ one out the front door and it tumbled onto our lawn. I was worried it was hurt, but fortunately it was only stunned! ACKK To this day, I can’t put a wreath on our front door (bird PTSD on my part) because we’ve learned a couple small landscape trees alongside our house also attract birds in the winter. I guess my wreath was a nice ‘hideaway’ for them?? 🙂

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  4. I can so relate to this post — especially if I can count mice as wildlife! We had very smart mice as our house guests throughout last winter – despite 4 visits from the exterminator. While a few perished (sorry), at one point, a mouse was able to snatch food from one of the strategically placed traps without getting caught! I can also relate to the ‘get a better deal on a ______ at another store’ – that ends up with multiple trips to said stores and several unusable items…. Thanks for the chuckle.

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  5. Our home is right across the street from county park land, so we have had lots of critter experiences including a rat in the BBQ (sooo gross!), rattlesnakes in the garage, wolf spiders carrying babies on their back (very freaky sight), and wild boars digging up the lawn. Thankfully, no squirrels in the attic though!

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  6. Oh, dear… bats in the bellfry and all that. or in our case, it was a firebird! When the children were young I was a stay-at-home mum. Despite the fact that I was home a lot, and relatively bright, my [former] hubs refused to believe me when I said something had set up camp in our chimney. Impossible was he word he used, I believe. Tired of me asking him to deal with it, he decided the easiest thing was to smoke “it” out – it would leave the way it had arrived and I would be off his case. Collecting copious amounts of newspaper, he crumpled it and stuffed it into the fireplace. Set a match and close the doors. Well, except for the fact that three wide-eyed children were present when a flaming bird dropped into the fireplace. My bird-phobic girlfriend was visiting so she grabbed the children and ran screaming from the room. I leapt to the fireplace and opened the doors just in time to have a burning bird flop out onto the carpet. I was folding laundry so grabbed a baby blanket and threw it on top. Quickly understanding his culpability, hubs gathered the bird into the blanket and took it outside. After a bit of care, the bird flew off – a little lop-sidedly as feathers had been scorched, but alive to tell the tale.

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  7. Squirrel stories always make me smile because we don’t have them in Australia. We have possums instead and when they get into the roof cavity you certainly know about it – they pee and it stinks and stains – and heaven help you if one dies up there – the smell is revolting and lasts forever. Fortunately we’ve escaped it so far and hopefully indefinitely! So at least squirrels are small!
    #MLSTL 🙂

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    1. I have a friend with a wildlife removal company (too bad he lives in Florida!) and he has a definite soft spot for possums. Like squirrels, as long as they stay outside where they belong, I’m good! Thanks, Leanne!!

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  8. I love squirrels and we don’t have them in Australia so when I see them in Central Park, NYC or Hyde Park in London they are a treat. My husband is a Vietnam Veteran so I’m also mindful and respectful of all service personnel. My crazy story is one Sunday, just before leaving on a business trip, my husband decided to clear the gutters. I’ve never seen him move so quickly down a ladder! As he scooped his hand through the leaves he felt something that certainly was from a tree – a python snake! There was no way I was having him go away with a snake on the roof so we called in the Snake Catcher who calmly took the snake (who had just eaten so had a very large bump protruding) away to it’s natural environment. Thanks for being part of the #MLSTL community and sharing your Sunday adventure!
    Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Hi Kim, how does your husband cope? Mine was called up for National Service so wasn’t actually in the army. The ‘Nashos’ as they were called went through hell when they returned home as they were seen as outcasts by society – those in society who didn’t believe in the war and also the returned soldiers who didn’t view them as ‘real soldiers’ although they experienced the same trauma. xx

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  9. Nice work you two! Doesn’t it feel good to figure out a solution and implement it on your own? When my children were young we had a cat. He brought a bird in the house. I assumed it was dead, but once he dropped it, the bird started flying frantically around the house. We opened the doors and eventually the bird found its way out on its own, with much encouragement from the children.

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    1. That also happened to us. I didn’t realize they would do that. It took more than a little encouragement to get him out because the cat was chasing it as it flew all over our house. We were chasing the cat and proactively trying to get doors open so it could get back outside. It was quite a scene.

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  10. I’ve had mice in the house before, but never something so large as a squirrel. But those squirrels get up any way they can. I was preparing my morning coffee and a noise on the window freaked me out. It was a squirrel climbing down from the roof and he was flat against the window. He sniffed around for a bit on the deck and then climbed back up the way he came down. It wasn’t the only time that happened either.

    Liked by 1 person

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